BURNABY DISPATCHES

Lay Low for a While, Find a Safe House



We had hoped – prayed – that at the end of this long, deranged summer, America's warring clans of morons might just take a page out of the sage Book of Burgundy and say “Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand.” have a Miller High Life and lay low for a little while.


This doesn't appear to be happening. This week we review Eric Hoffer's True Believer, and quote Menkin on the eternal virtuousness of the mob. Our feature this week is on surviving an urban grenade attack. Let's think about that. This week's Dispatches is dedicated to the violent self-righteous mobs on either side, may you all lay low until you learn how a republic works. And we raise our Obituary Cocktail to whom - or what - ever manages to bring that polarized gang of self-important screeching MAGA and Wokie tribes at least somewhat back to earth before the grown-up have to do something ... effective.


Being effective, however, isn't necessarily violent. Sometimes it's the opposite. Henry Kissinger said that diplomacy was "the patient accumulation of partial success." The genius of America has always been compromise - even if the famous 3/5 compromise was 5/5 crack-pot on every conceivable level. The slow churn of "partial success" may be tedious, but it's held the government together (Save one instance where the we wouldn't budge on the 3/5 business). And it has worked, sloppily in places, but it's generally held. America has the second oldest government on the planet, second only by that other nation of "I guess I see your point on A, but B is a dealbreaker for me...well, okay, how about this then..." sorts, Great Britain.


A couple of us on the Burnaby team have written screenplays and know that you will never see a movie where the hero or heroine will compromise a blazing path to victory. That's not how fiction works because it is fiction. Down here on earth, you'll be hard pressed to find a workable solution that isn't an irksome morass of compromises. The French Revolution was so pure that within 15 years the entire population was pining for the mellowing affects of a man like Napoleon.


That's why parents always seem so boring and the Marvel Comic Universe and the most dominate personality of the latest idiot brigade to take to the streets seems so heroic - because it is not real. An if you haven't put that together, Gentle Reader, you are still a child.



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